PSYCHOPATHOLOGY AND THE CONTROL GRID02/07/2013 17:18
DO NOT USE THE TERM "PSYCHOPATH" AS A COMPENSATORY LABEL TO SMEAR A PERSON WHO RIPPED YOU OFF OR BROKE YOUR HEART.
MANY PEOPLE ARE JUST EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE/SELF-ABSORBED THESE DAYS DUE TO THE IMPACT OF ADVERTISING AND MEDIA. THESE PEOPLE ARE GENERALLY JUST 'SELFISH, CLUELESS AND SHALLOW' AND ARE NOT SOCIOPATHS/PSYCHOPATHS.
The excellent Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale can be useful in identifying people who may have these traits HERE. Answer the questions fairly if you are using it to evaluate someone else.
I have only personally known five people in my life whom I can consider to be psychopathic. Four of them were men I worked alongside with on Wall Street, and the other was a female rock 'groupie' I met when I was in my early 20's. Everyone else was just the normal range of humans from amazing to messed-up and everything in between.
EDUCATE YOURSELF - THINK RATIONALLY - BE AN ADULT.
Read books by the real experts first:
All other commentators, including myself are not experts. I am a layman and I wanted this information out of academia and open to all. However, question everything I say and ALWAYS look to the experts for the complete picture. Psychopatholgy is complex and changing study - with new discoveries and developments constantly taking place in the fields of neuro-science and biotechnology. The day is dawning fast when real treatment might be possible for psychopaths. Until then, our responsibility as empathic people is to keep ourselves safe and deal with the issue in an emotionally mature and non co-dependent manner.
A very good book on recognising possible psychopathic traits and behaviours in women is: Venus: The Dark Side by Mary T Cleary and Roy Sheppard HERE. Again, be fair and honest - a lot of younger women today have been damaged by mass media and fashion and may be acting out according to the appalling celeb role models presented to them on TV and in magazines.
ALWAYS BE CAUTIOUS, MEASURED AND MATURE ABOUT THE SITUATION. YOUR JOB IS TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF AND BE VERY WARY OF ANYONE WHO TRIES TO COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR OWN PERSONAL RECOVERY STORY BY LOCKING YOU INTO ETERNAL RUMINATION, REVENGE FANTASY, HATRED AND SELF-PITY. YOU WILL END UP WASTING YOUR LIFE AND THE ABUSERS WILL HAVE WON.
THEN, IF YOU STILL BELIEVE YOU ARE/WERE DEALING WITH A PERSON WHO IS A PSYCHOPATH/SOCIOPATH, READ ON:
THE ONLY SOLUTION — NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN (NCEA)
The purpose of my work and lectures is to help people recover from the horrific emotional and psychological turmoil a psychopathic abuse situation may have brought into their lives. Then to understand and process the experience and move on. Revenge on the abuser is not possible, or healthy. Your job is to look after yourself. That's it.
Once you have HONESTLY and OBJECTIVELY identified and recognised that you are dealing with a psychopath/sociopath — be it in a relationship, in the workplace, within a committee/organisation, or indeed within your own family — you must walk away from them and leave them for good. Do not be concerned about hurting their feelings — a psychopath cannot be really ‘hurt’. You were never anything other than an object to them. NCEA is so empowering to the former target on so many levels that once established, they can utilise this fantastic tool of personal and emotional liberation without doing anything, as such. Therein lies the simple, but extremely effective beauty of the NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN rule. Do nothing, achieve everything. NCEA works with all toxic and difficult people/situations, not just the pathological ones. You only have one life and you must not waste it on people who just want to suck your energy dry.
The NCEA rule also includes blocking from your Twitter/Facebook accounts, instant messaging, phone numbers and all other personal access to you. It has nothing to do with being vindictive or spiteful. They don’t care.
Even though a normal person can't 'get even' with a psychopath and should never ever try to 'out-psychopath a psychopath', these pathological individuals hate the NCEA strategy because it puts them in the position of no longer having any control over their targets and no pernicious pathway back into their lives. The psychopath will most certainly have begun a vicious and ruthless smear campaign against you prior to them/you exiting your life (emotionally healthy, decent people do not engage in sadistic and on-going smear tactics). They will also attempt to take advantage of your implementing NCEA (out of annoyance and not hurt) and you’ll be placed in the awkward position of having to defend your humanity. DON'T DO THIS - STAY SILENT, AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
They are only testing and tugging at the ‘hook’ they have had in you. They do not miss you at all beyond needing to keep you well trained.
TOP TEN PROFESSIONS LIKELY TO APPEAL TO PSYCHOPATHS (link)
3. Media (Television/Radio)
7. Police Officer
8. Clergy person
10. Civil Servant
And the lowest rates of psychopathy:
1. Care Aide
6. Charity Worker
8. Creative Artist
- Do you feel incomplete without a ‘soul mate’?
- Do you hide a sense of low self-esteem or hurt behind an outgoing and confident exterior due to a past emotional trauma that you keep to yourself?
- Do you believe that there is ‘someone special’ out there just for you and do you let people know what kind of person this would be?
- Do you believe in ‘love at first sight'?
- Do you have a large disposable income?
- Are you generally independent and self-supporting?
- Do you have any special talent or ability which may bring you fame and wealth one day?
- Do you think deeply about everyone and everything except yourself?
- Are you a single parent longing for a completed family?
- Are you the kind of person who would get out of your car to help an elderly or handicapped person with their groceries?
- Did you lose a young child, or are you presently estranged from your children due to divorce or do you have a deep-rooted unfulfilled desire to raise and nurture a child of your own?
- Do you always give other people the benefit of the doubt at first?
- Are you humbly unaware of your own special talents and abilities?
- Are you an educated recent immigrant with a degree or professional background and not yet fully aware of all the subtle cultural intricacies of your newly adopted country?
- Are you living alone in a house in which the mortgage is fully paid off?
- Do you have a strong desire to love and be loved?
- Do you have a history of rescuing stray and injured animals?
- Did you have a parent who was an alcoholic or a drug addict?
- Are you very sensitive to emotional external stimuli, such as hearing certain music, or viewing a certain art work which can bring you to tears?
- Were you in the military as a young person?
- Did one or both of your parents die when you were a child or were you raised in a foster home or orphanage?
- Were you abused, neglected, unloved by a parent/parents as a child?
- Are you financially responsible, solvent and secure, such as a stable employment position/regular long-term pay cheque with a government pension/full military pension?
- Do you believe there is a hidden force which affects your life to some degree and do you embrace this concept?
- Are you recently widowed, divorced or currently in a difficult relationship?
- When you are hurt emotionally, is it a deep, intense hurt?
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